I am going to switch gears here for a bit…..things are very unsettled in my life right now (still) and I am getting tired of fighting the depression that goes along with it…..I have a daily affirmation that I get from Neale Donald Walsch ( author of the Conversations with God books) and this is one I got two days ago:
“On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know......that any frustration you have is simply the result ofwrong thinking. If you were thinking rightly you could not possibly imagine that anything was going 'wrong.' You would know that nothing in the Universe is working against you. By definition, given Who You Are, this is impossible. Move, then, to gratitude when you encounter your frustrations. And see every event as an Opportunity.”
Opportunity….really????? For what? Pain, fear, anxiety??? My husband and I have been here before when he was just 50 years of age and it was over a year before he found work, now he is older. He gets to the third interview and then nothing. The recruiters tell him he is a shoe in and be by your phone…it never rings. All he can do with major companies is apply online. You are not allowed to hand a resume to anyone anymore!
One of the factors has to be his age, in this country “experience” is interrupted as “too old”. Example: Target will not hire anyone for any management position without a 4 year degree. My husband along with many other men had to go to work, school wasn’t an option. The HR person told him, if he just had that degree, he would be exactly who they were looking for, she didn’t mention a specific degree like business or management just a degree. Really? So what do we do for 10 years before he can retire????? Right now, it looks like we lose everything we’ve worked so hard for! To have it go because he was thrown out of a promising career by someone who didn’t like him???? For one wrong move…one. Good people make bad decisions.
I am sorry, I am so discouraged and so tired of the “God will provide” lines….and the “not in your time but his time” lines…I have been a little upset with God lately , a very dear friend of mine told me I have to get over my anger with God, that I cannot receive the blessings he wants for me if I am closed to him…..really? I guess that is that “free will” thing, huh? I know it isn’t God’s fault, I know that a lot of it is my husband’s….but can God really help???? The anger is incredible and my stomach hurts….my RA is screaming and my doc told me try not to stress….I had to laugh.
As you can see, I am very conflicted at the moment…. OK….I just needed to vent… thank you for listening…